ZINC FENCE RECORD OF THE WEEK

 

DON'T

Professor Nuts

Professor Nuts is a verbal wizard who does not make a lot of records. His talents are in inverse proportion to the number of records he makes. Capleton has probably made as many records in the last twelve months as the Professor has made in his entire recording career. Nevertheless this most under recorded and under rated of Jamaican dee jays has two outstanding records out this week, both on Ritchie Stephens' Pot Of Gold label.

Satan Trong on the Problem rhythm and Don't on the Busta rhythm are both essential and choosing between them is no easy task. Additionally, there are a number of outstanding cuts to both, with Hawkeye's Money Making Man on the Busta rhythm and Beenie Man's Ganja Farm on the Problem rhythm especially noteworthy. Nevertheless, Don't it has to be.

Professor Nuts is one of the most lyrically dexterous and intelligent dee jays in the business. But even by his own high standards, Don't is really something special. The professor takes on the role of preachifying pastor delivering pithy pieces of moral advice to his flock:

"Don't you know that you must not rob and you must not steal
Don't you know that who can't hear have to feel
Don't you know that God is good and the Lord is real
Don't you know that you and the Devil na haffi make no deal
Don't put your thing in the other thing there
Try to find out weh in there
Try to find out a way in there.
Don't. Cos I won't.

In the midst of which sermon the following astonishing burst of wordplay insinuates itself:

The word don't is not a noun, is not a verb
Or an adjective. Is not a conjunction.
Not a phrase, a singular, not a plural.
It is a construction. Construction mean
To shorten two words, otherwise known as diminution.
Diminution mean...

And so on, all at breakneck pace with the chorus "Don't" intoned by a group of sober-voiced acolytes. Lyrically, Don't has a strong Christian feel to it as does Satan Trong, currently massively popular in Jamaica and beginning to cause a commotion over here in the UK. All of this raises the question, has Professor Nuts become the latest Jamaican entertainer to make a high profile conversion to Christianity? Watch this space.

 

 

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