ZINC FENCE RECORD OF THE WEEK

Log On

Elephant Man

The Liquid rhythm on Jeremy Harding's 2 Hard label is indisputably the rhythm of the moment. At the time of writing, there are eleven records out on this rhythm, a huge number even by current Jamaican standards, many of which have two vocal or DJ cuts back to back, dispensing with the version altogether. Even so, as fast as they come back into the specialist shops they sell straight out again. After Elephant Man's contribution, the best of the rest are probably Keep It Blazin from from T.O.K and Innocent Crew's Boom, which come back to back, with further offerings from Beenie Man, Kiprich, Cobra, Tanto Metro & Devonte, and many others too numerous to mention.

The rhythm itself, tantalisingly prefaced by some lightly touched strings, kicks off into a hardcore dancehall face-slapper with something of the elliptical quality of a tango, to which Elephant Man's own sidelong toasting style with its long phrases and astute pauses is admirably suited. Elephant Man's Log On is an absolutely wicked record, unquestionably the best of a fine selection of the cuts. Say what you like about his lyrics, this DJ knows how to ride a rhythm in fine style.

Yes, but what about the lyrics? Hasn't every single record he has ever made incited poisonous hatred and violence against the "chi chi man" or homosexual? Hasn't Elephant Man already secured his place in the record books as the most obnoxious, spiteful, crude and ignorant purveyor of hate-filled homophobic abuse of the new century?

Well, great news! With Log On Elephant Man embraces the twenty first century world of the new technology, and in doing so goes on to embrace a twenty first century set of values. Turning his back on homophobic hate-rants and chi chi man lyrics, he advises his audience to log on to natural history or current affairs websites, even to sign up to sexual politics discussion groups worldwide.

Or so incurable optimists might believe, on hearing the title of Elephant Man's latest offering. However more realistic reggae fans will not be surprised to hear, on putting the record on the turntable, that, while indeed Elephant Man advises his fans to log on, he then goes on to advise them to "log on and step pon chi chi man." Oh dear.

To be fair, Log On is actually a dance rather than advice on free service providers. Even so, that Elephant Man can't go out to a Kingston dancehall on a Saturday night without finding scores of chi chi men under his feet does suggest a disturbing tunnel vision. Since Kingston is a city where even the most ardent gay rights campaigner or even the Taliban itself would be hard pressed to find the smallest congregation of homosexuals, let's hope that Elephant Man has not been frequenting the wrong kind of dance by mistake.

However, perhaps Elephant Man is going soft on his mortal enemies since Log On calls only for stepping on "chi chi men" rather than gunning them down, chopping them up into bits, or dropping them in high places, as in many previous outings. Optimists might also take comfort from the fact that the tusked toaster does not include the "chi chi man friend" in his edict of death by trampling, as so often before.

But in the end, so irresistible is this record that even a confirmed chi chi man friend like myself will find the line "log on and step pon chi chi man" insinuating itself into his brain at the most unexpected moments. Go ahead, log on to this one.

 

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